-What does King Tut’s secretary say on the phone? He can’t talk right now, He’s all wrapped up!
-Archaeologists excavating a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts, they believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.
-There are so many marble-ous statues in Greece but a lot of people take them for granite.
-Charon ferryman for the dead: it’s not a great job but he Styxs with it
-What’s that? You hate Greek puns? My Apollo-gees.
-Just Roman’ around
-What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
-How did they cut the Roman empire in half? With a pair of Caesars!
-Tried to borrow some bread from my neighbor but he said he got naan.
-Life gives you lemons, make pickle.
-Who built King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference!
-Guy on the rack: What doesn’t kill you makes you longer!
-I think you should Vincent Van Gogh away!
-Grab the Monet and let’s Gogh.
-I photograph my pimples is zit art?
PRESENT DAY PUNS:
-Donald Trump: If I run in 2016 there will be hell toupee.
By Emma Yu
Ed Lee was an amazing person and San Francisco’s beloved mayor who sadly passed away on December 12, 2017. He was a huge influence to many during his lifetime and achieved things most people wouldn’t even dream of doing.
He was born into a family of Chinese Immigrants in Seattle, Washington on May 5th, 1952. His father passed away when he was only 15, and he worked at restaurants to support his family. He got a B.A. at Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine and a J.D. at UC Berkeley School of Law. After college, he became a civil rights attorney and practiced law for the San Francisco Asian Law Caucus, fighting for the rights of Asian-Americans like himself. In honor of his fantastic life, here are some pretty amazing facts about him.
Top Five Facts About Ed Lee:
By Anya Sleeper Sheppard and Eva Ciobanu
Now, when you saw the title of this page, you probably were confused. I mean, who would write about the school’s plumbing? That would be SO boring, right? That would be the case if APG had normal plumbing. Well, lucky for you (or unlucky for you if you go down there), the school DOES NOT have normal plumbing. Now, you might be thinking, what do you mean Giannini doesn’t have normal plumbing? What I mean is the result of a terrible disaster that happened over 50 years ago. You must be wondering what exactly happened those many years ago.
It all started when poor little Tommy, a sixth grader, was dared by the eighth graders to go down into the boiler room. He nervously descended the rusty ladder. He watched as the eighth graders’ looming figures slowly shrunk as he climbed down. When he reached the bottom, he jumped down, his feet echoing around the dark room.
He timidly looked around, taking in all the dust and pipes cluttered around the room. He continued to examine the room when he thought he saw a red light flicker. He went forward to take a closer look, but then jumped back quickly.
It wasn’t a light.
It was a pair of red, glowing eyes! He started to feel anxious. He was about to go back upstairs when he spotted something shiny in an air vent near the ceiling. Excited, he quickly climbed up to see what it was. As he started to climb up one of the pipes to reach the vent, he was dragged up the pipe and into forever darkness.
To this day, his rotting corpse continues to make the school smell like your brother’s moldy old gym socks. :D
Now, learn a lesson from poor Tommy and NEVER EVER go down to the boiler room, because you may never come back up.
DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!
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